What robs our confidence?
Working in an industry just as design and marketing can become a bit of a confidence drainer. There’s competition, opinion, criticism and lack of value. It’s easy to get bogged down with imposter syndrome, thinking that what you do, what you have to say, the things you do have no value or that someone else clearly does it better than you so why both, and even that persistence is futile and pointless and therefore all these things create a lack of confidence in a person who was once so passionate about that thing they love.
I want to tackle the top issue that creeps into the life of a person that could halt your success;
Imposter Syndrome
This is probably the top and the worst issue that comes against anyone trying to achieve success through something they are passionate about. Let’s first say this – success is subjective. What one person thinks is success, another may think is failure. One person may see success as having lots of money. Another person may see success as being famous or recognised. Someone else might see success that their business is generating financial benefits that allow them to live a more casual, five star lifestyle. Or maybe you are like me and you see success as being happy about my work and loving what I am doing, creating memories for my children and being free from the pressures of life.
Whatever success is to you, remember it isn’t the same as the next person.
“Many of us tend to downplay our achievements. In attempt to be humble, we brush them off by saying our success was just a product of “luck” or “good timing.” While humility is admirable, too much of it can hurt rather than help you, especially if you are already fostering feelings of self-doubt.” ~ You are pretty amazing
It’s important to recognise this when talking about Imposter Syndrome and this syndrome insists that success in your industry looks, sounds and feels the same as everyone else. Imposter Syndrome will require of you the time you don’t have, the finance you don’t have and the expectations you can’t meet in order to come up to par with that other person who is clearly acing the same field you want to have success in. Imposter Syndrome then tells you that you aren’t good enough, you aren’t doing enough and that if you don’t get success instantly then you have failed.
Failure is a huge feeling of Imposter Syndrome and if this syndrome is not put to death then you will never feel that what you do is good enough.
Imposter Syndrome will make you question all your decisions, make you procrastinate your business choices, will make you pause campaigns and for some, things will go unfinished for years simply because there is an Imposter in your life.
An imposter is someone or something that has no place where it is; it’s fake, untrustworthy, creates fear and reduces confidence to a point where it no longer functions.
If you suffer from any of this that has been described then there is an imposter in your ear and it needs shutting down!
It’s time to bring your confidence back!
So how does this happen?
- Value you.
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” – Unknown
The dictionary defines “value”’as important, worth, regard, esteem and usefulness – “to consider with respect to worth, excellence, usefulness, or importance.”
The very second are confidence hits the floor we decrease the importance and worth of what we have to give to others. Whether be a business idea, an encouraging word, a product, a conversation. When we have no confidence in the value of you we will shrink back, think our opinions are worthless and useless and we become silent.
It’s time to brush off those moments where someone has allowed you to think this way, where someone has come into agreement with these thoughts and it’s time to step up, step out and believe in the value of you.
You have something to share, you have something to say, you have something someone doesn’t have and they need it. You know something that someone else doesn’t yet know and they need your experience, expertise and your value. You need to have confidence that what you have has value. You have value, your skills are valuable, your knowledge important, your experience has worth and someone will regard you as an expert; the moment you can see your value so will others.
- Confidence breeds confidence
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” — Marianne Williamson
As a short person, measuring just 4ft 10inches, who suffered with massive stage fright in my youth, confidence did not come to me easily and a lack of it, I can associate to many opportunities missed, especially around business opportunities. However at some point I had to push through the lack I often felt; I let my physical stature at times dictate my value in certain situations and I let my age dictate my worth in circumstances where I knew I had something to give but there were always doubts and questions like “who would listen to me?”.
At 9 year sold I sat behind a drum kit to play in a band in public for the first time; I love drumming and have done for a long time. Sitting behind a drum kit being short meant there was a level of hiddenness – no one could see me. And although I wasn’t great to begin with, those around me pushed me, gave me confidence to keep going and gave me huge amounts of encouragement that lifted me on the inside, their confidence in me bred the feeling of confidence within so that I could keep trying, keep practicing and keep performing well.
This is just one example of how those around us can have a huge impact on the level of our confidence, in whatever sphere of influence it is. Actually understanding that my circle of friends and influencers can create confidence for me to progress and to have success will in turn allow us to feed the same confidence into others we are engaged with in work, life, circles all around us.
- There’s space for you
“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life — and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” — Georgia O’Keeffe
Understanding that no matter what you produce, promote, service you provide, job you do, music you make or life you lead – in this world there is a space for you. You belong among your fellow piers, you belong among you work colleagues and you belong among those who you deem to be of higher value, greater in wisdom and knowledge and maybe those who are ahead of you.
There is a space for you to be ahead of the game too, to be the one who others follow and to be the one who others look to in order to even overtake you at this thing. If we spend more time in life looking for ways to breed confidence in the circle of influence around us and less time worrying about if we fit in, then perhaps, maybe, just maybe, there would be a great awakening of confidence in all those around us.
This is arrogance by the way – arrogance is self gratifying, self obsessed, unkind and demeaning – this is not confidence.
Confidence is kind, confidence is up lifting and encouraging, confidence brings constructive criticism and not punishment.
We need more confidence and in the space you occupy there is a place for you to shine, to be greater, to be more confident than you are now because someone out there needs what you know, needs what you have and needs your thoughts in order for them to live at a higher level of kindness, compassion and inclusivity than they are now.
What robs our confidence?
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” — Benjamin Spock
“if our hearts condemn us, there is no confidence” this is from 1 John 3:21 in the Bible but it applies to every part of out lives where we need confidence.
The condition of our heart dictates the level of confidence we have within us. If we can come to a place where the imposter goes, the lack goes, the doubt and the worthlessness goes, then maybe our hearts passion can take over all the things that come to rob our confidence and maybe then we can start to believe that I’m here for this reason, I have a purpose and that my product, my business, my passion has a place in this world and the world is big enough for me and that I have value and I can walk, speak, sell, produce, write and promote WITH CONFIDENCE!